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We live in a society where winning is valuable and losing is embarrassing. With every mistake, miscue, or missed opportunity, we can deride ourselves and chip away at our fragile self-confidence. As our society advances, and the planet becomes smaller through technology, the competition to succeed becomes ever more fierce. Jobs are lost to overseas competitors, computers, and our changing way of life. Families are smaller and marriages are shorter. In the Western World, individual success has become the most important kind of success. And as we undertake new experiences, we can clearly see how self-confidence can mean the difference between success and failure. So, why are we losing self-confidence? Perhaps, there is no global answer to this question. While some individuals surely experience growing self-confidence (sometimes to an inappropriate level), others are left wondering why they can never reach their dreams. Some people never seem capable of finding the right job or partner, while others seemingly turn everything they touch into goal. Perhaps then, the issue is the fact that low self-confidence is inextricably linked to life problems that invariably have a negative impact on self-confidence. For example, if you compare two individuals who studied at the same school and achieved the same grades, applying for the same job, with the only difference being that one has high self-confidence and one has low self-confidence, the individual with high self-confidence is most likely to get the job. Losing out on the job will most likely have a negative effect on self-confidence, and a vicious cycle ensues. Yet, we all have the power to improve our own self-confidence. There are many programs and professionals that are dedicated to helping people improve their evaluations of their own self-worth and subsequently improve life satisfaction. While it is important to realistically assess your own abilities and set goals that are achievable for you, it is equally important not to over- or under-evaluate said abilities. Your confidence ultimately needs to be a reflection of who you are and how you see yourself, rather than a reflection of others' evaluations. Competition is a natural and unavoidable component of our culture. In order to be successful, you must internalize self-confidence and project it to others. Knowing what you can do, and what you are good at can help you improve your self-confidence; still it is equally important to realize that we all have our strong suits, and nobody is good at everything. Ultimately, we have control over our own self-confidence and by engaging in activities that not only challenge us but help us to learn new skills and abilities, we can work toward developing an intrinsic self confidence that is not based on the expectations or evaluations of others.
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