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My son is in his early twenties and has been dating a girl for a few years now, and recently they were having a few problems. The young lady began accusing him of loving her to much, and being too attached to her, and telling him that his desire to be with her was not normal and began saying that it was dysfunctional. My wife and I have both been close to our son and his girlfriend, and have really never seen anything that we felt was even remotely odd or what we would consider to be dysfunctional. Come to find out, this young lady had been discussing her and my son's relationship with some pin headed shrink. And since then it has come to my attention that there are evidently a slew of pin headed shrinks that are leading couples away from permanent long term relationships which is the fiber that holds traditional America together. These pin headed shrinks have some how locked on to the idea that if you are madly in love and very attached to your significant other, that this is somehow a mental disorder. They are labeling what we called good old fashioned love in our day as some sort of mental deficiency. They are referring to the signs of love as being an addiction of some sort, or some type of abnormal dependency. All I've got to say is give us a freaking break. It's love. It's just good old fashioned can't live without you crazy love. End of story.
Now his mother and I were high school sweethearts, we got married young, and have been married for over thirty years now. So in discussing this, his mother and I began to realize that it seems as though today's generation along with these misguided so called counselors or shrinks are attempting to down play, twist up, degrade, and label the feelings and emotions associated with just good old fashioned normal love.
I can tell you now that looking back to the days when his mother and I were young, based on the standards of today's generation, we were definitely "too in love", and yes "too attached" to each other. In our day, we just called it being in love. I literally felt like I could not live without her. When she and I would break up over arguments as all couples will do, after a week I felt like I was going to die without her. I would literally get to the point where I would feel like I was going to go crazy without the woman I was so in love with, and the thought of her being with some one else was way too much for me to even think about. That's not strange, or dysfunctional, that's just plain old fashioned love. That is the kind of love that has kept us in a marriage with all its ups and downs for well over thirty years. That is the kind of true old fashioned love that has even kept my parents married for over fifty years. And call me jealous, your darned right I'm jealous as is she. This is normal. During me and my wife's generation, if you were that in love, and that attached, you simply got married, and sealed the deal for life.
It almost seems as though in today's generation everything is a great deal more superficial, and almost set on the ideology of being a temporary trial situation. It's almost as though the idea is ok love me kind of, but just really let's get mildly attached, set up a temporary relationship that will be easy to quickly move away from if it begins to get complicated, and this is just a shame. I truly hope that this is not what my children's or grandchildren's generations do with love. Love and relationships is the key to good healthy long lives, strong family's, and the survival of a traditional America.
So if friends or some pin headed shrink tries to tell you that what you are feeling is abnormal, or dysfunctional, or if someone tries to tell you are "too in love" or "too attached", take that as a compliment. Respectfully thank them for noticing that you have been blessed enough to have found true old fashioned love, and ask that they pray for you and your significant other for the wisdom, knowledge, courage and strength needed to keep that love forever, and wish for them that one day they will be blessed enough to find the same.
Brent Thomason is a writer that writes for several internet web sites and blogs.
The Magic of Making Up
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